PPQ:Manzai Demo Theater/Wanted!? The Excellent Warlock

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Prologue

[★4] Richard (う~む… いかんな…)
(Mmm... This is no good...)
[★4] Richard (ついつい 本ばかり読んでしまって 最近 外出まろくにしていなかった)
(I've spent so much time wrapped up in my reading lately that I haven't been outside at all.)
[★4] Richard (いくら知識が増えたとしても これでは 健康によくない)
(No matter how many new things I may be learning, this just isn't healthy.)
[★4] Richard (たまには このあたりを 探索してみるか)
(I should try taking a walk around the neighborhood every now and then.)
[★4] Richard (本を読むだけでは 得られないような)
(I'll never get anywhere in life just by reading books.)
[★4] Richard (なにか おもしろい体験が できるかもしれんしな)
(There might be something interesting waiting out there...)

Episode 1 Pre-boss

[★4] Richard (なんだ? 気のせいか 好奇の目で見られているような)
(Huh? Maybe it's just me, but it feels like someone's staring very intently at me.)
[★4] Maguro あのー……
'Scuse me~......
[★4] Maguro キミって マジシャンの人だよね? そうだと嬉しいな★
You're one of those Magicians, aren't you? It'd be pretty nice if so★.
[★4] Richard ちょっとまってくれ ボクは マジシャンではなく 魔法使いだぞ
Now just wait a minute. I'm not a Magician, I'm a Warlock.
[★4] Risukuma その帽子のどこかに ハトがひそんでいるというのは じつに興味深いものだ
I frankly find it interesting that they can hide pigeons somewhere inside those hats of theirs.
[★4] Risukuma ぜひ わたくしに あなたの「えんかい芸」を おしえていただけないだろうか?
Surely you wouldn't mind sharing some of your Party Tricks with me?
[★4] Richard …えんかい?
...Tricks?
[★4] Maguro えっ せんぱいって 「えんかい」に行ったりするんだ?
Huh, are you really gonna start dabbling in magic tricks, Senpai?
[★4] Risukuma 「えんかい」… それは己の存在価値が ためされるばしょ
Tricks... to test such things on a public platform is my entire life's purpose!
[★4] Risukuma タマシイのオンステージ! といっても 過言ではないのだよ
Bearing my soul onstage! To say that would not be an exaggeration.
[★4] Maguro おっと これは… せんぱいの本気モード だね★
Whoops. Looks like... this is Senpai in full Serious Mode. Yep★.
[★4] Risukuma さあ それではさっそく キミの「えんかい芸」を みせていただこうか!!
Now, demonstrate your Party Tricks for me right here!!
[★4] Richard わ… わけがわからんが……
I... I'm not sure I follow, but...
[★4] Richard その勝負 受けてたとう!
Consider your challenge accepted!

Episode 1 After Boss

[★4] Risukuma スバラシイ「えんかい芸」を みせてもらった
You've shown me some marvelous Party Tricks indeed!
[★4] Richard あれは「えんかい芸」ではなく 「魔法」だと何度言ったら…
Those weren't "Party Tricks". The term you're looking for is Magic...
[★4] Maguro へぇ… キミって 本当に 魔法使いの人だったんだね★
You don't say... so you really are an honest-to-goodness Warlock, huh.★
[★4] Risukuma ふむ…… 魔法使いといえば なにか あったような…
Hmm... on the subject of Warlocks, something related has come up...
[★4] Maguro あ それって……★
Ah, you mean......★
[★4] Maguro 「優秀な魔法使い」をさがしてるって 話のこと…ですよね★
All that talk about looking for an "Excellent Warlock"... yeah.★
[★4] Richard 「優秀な魔法使い」?
"Excellent Warlock"?
[★4] Risukuma うむ 先ほど拾った チラシによると……
Mm. Well, according to this flyer we happened across...
求む!優秀な魔法使い 定員1名腕におぼえのある者 歓迎!
[Wanted! Excellent Warlock! We eagerly await one talented person with the confidence to get it done!]
[★4] Risukuma …とのことだ くわしくは この先の神殿に行くといいらしい
...Or some such. In short, it seems the local shrine is the destination.
[★4] Maguro キミ なかなか強いみたいだし 行ってみてはどう かな★
You seem pretty tough. Maybe you should give it a shot. What do you say?★
[★4] Richard うーむ… ボクは魔法使いとしては まだまだ半人前ではあるが…
Mmmm... I may be a warlock, but I'm nowhere near the level I ought to be...
[★4] Richard 行くだけ行ってみるとしよう 何事も経験だ!
Still, there's no harm in checking it out. Maybe it'll lead to something interesting!
[★4] Maguro 気をつけて ね★
Take care out there, 'kay?★

Episode 2 Pre-boss

[★4] Matthew どうしたの こんなとこおろで お散歩でもしてるの?
Hey there, whatcha doing taking a walk in this kinda place?
[★4] Sullivan いつも本を読んでいるあなたが めずらしいですね
For a bookworm like yourself, it certainly is strange.
[★4] Richard マシューに サリヴァン… キミたちこそ 何をしているんだ?
Matthew and Sullivan... why are you guys here too?
[★4] Richard まさか 「優秀な魔法使い」 に 立候補しようと…?
Could it be you're also trying for the "Excellent Warlock" position...?
[★4] Richard (だとしたら2人は手ごわい ライバルになりそうだな……)
(If that's the case, they'll both be quite formidable rivals...)
[★4] Matthew えっ!? いやぁ ボクたちは別に… ねぇ サリヴァン?
Eh? Naah, we're actually kinda here for... right, Sullivan?
[★4] Sullivan ふふ… そうですね
Hehe... yes, that's right.
[★4] Richard (あきらかに なにかをかくしている!)
(They're definitely hiding something!)
[★4] Richard なんだ その気になる反応は? 本当のそとを言いたまえ
What's with that nervous reaction? Just tell me the truth.
[★4] Matthew ほ ほんとに なんでもないってば~!
R-Really, we're telling you it's no big deal~!
[★4] Sullivan ふふふふ…
Hehehehe...
[★4] Richard いいかげんにしろ!
Alright, that does it!

Episode 2 After Boss

[★4] Matthew ボクたち… 「セノビ草」 っていう
Y'see... we were looking for something called "Tiptop Weed".
[★4] Matthew 食べると 一日だけ背が伸びる薬草を探してたんだ
Cause when you eat some, it supposedly makes you grow super tall in just one day!
[★4] Matthew 今より もっと かくさんに 背を伸ばしたくって……
So, well... I wanna be taller than I am right now, so......
[★4] Sullivan 私は ちょうどヒマだったので なんとなく 手伝っていただけです
And since I was otherwise unoccupied, I decided I ought to lend a hand.
[★4] Richard なるほどな…… だが なぜそれを ボクに隠す必要があるんだ?
I see...... but still, why would you think you needed to hide that from me?
[★4] Matthew だって リチャードってば ボクが何度も お願いしてるのに
Because, Richard! No matter how many times I ask you...
[★4] Matthew 「背を伸ばす方法」を ぜんぜん 教えてくれないじゃないか!
You never wanna tell me how to use that "Growth-spurt Technique", do you!
[★4] Richard いや だから ”アノ方法” は おすすめできないと 何度…
No, it's like I've told you every time. I strongly advise against using That...
[★4] Matthew ウソだ!! 本当は知っているのに ひとりじめする気なんでしょ!!
Liar!! More like you just wanna keep it all to yourself!!
[★4] Richard そういうワケじゃない ”アノ方法” は サリヴァンだって知っている
No, it's not like that. Sullivan knows all too well about That technique, too.
[★4] Matthew えっ 本当なの サリヴァン!? それなら 早く教えてよ!
Wait, really, Sullivan!? If you know about it, hurry up and tell me!
[★4] Sullivan ふふふ… 別にいいけど マシュー
Mhmhm... It's really nothing special, Matthew.
[★4] Sullivan 三日三晩の間 体中が 毛むくじゃらになっても 大丈夫ですか?
Just something that causes rapid hair growth all over the body for 3 days and 3 nights. Are you okay with that?
[★4] Matthew だ… だ…
Th... Th...
[★4] Matthew 大丈夫じゃない!!!
That is NOT OKAY AT ALL!!
[★4] Richard ……だろ?
... You see?

Episode 3 Pre-boss

[★4] Poison Ringo そこのあなた そろそろ お腹がすいてきたでしょう…
You there. You must be getting at least a little hungry by now...
[★4] Poison Ringo リンゴ おひとつ いかがですか?
Why not have one of these fine apples?
[★3] Pumpkin ケタケタケタ! アヤシイ! アヤシイ!
KEHKEHKEHKEH! THAT'S SHADY! SUPER SHADY!
[★5] Richard (ん? なぜ見ず知らずの少女が ボクにリンゴの差し入れを…?)
(Hm? What's this strange girl trying to accomplish by giving me apples...?)
[★5] Richard はっ… 分かったぞ
Ah... I see what's going on.
[★5] Richard この少女… 見た目こそ怪しいが れっきとした魔法使いのようだ
This girl... her stare may be suspicious, but she's clearly an accomplished warlock in her own right.
[★5] Richard ボクを 油断させておいて 先に神殿へと向かうつもりだな…
I bet she's planning to distract me in order to throw me off the Shrine's path...
[★3] Pumpkin ケタケタケタ! ココロノコエ! ゼンブキコエテル!
KEHKEHKEH! YOUR INNER VOICE! WE CAN HEAR ALL OF IT!
[★5] Richard そんな こそくな手には 乗らんぞ!
Your underhanded tactics won't work on me!
[★4] Poison Ringo フフフフフ… さあ どうでしょうか…
Hehehehehe... Well then, what will you do about it...?
[★5] Richard キミとボクのどちらが 優れた魔法使いか…
You and I are both warlocks of exceptional skill...
[★5] Richard ここで決めようじゃないか!
So we'll just settle everything right here!
[★3] Pumpkin ケケケケケケケケ! イイゾ! モットヤレ!
KEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! YEAH! FIGHT IT OUT!

Episode 3 After Boss

[★4] Poison Ringo ご安心ください… わたしが 興味があるのは あなただけ…
Please don't fret... I assure you, you are the only person I'm interested in.
[★4] Richard ど どういう意味だ?
W-What do you mean by that?
[★4] Poison Ringo …もとい このリンゴを食べた あなたの反応に興味があります!
...That is, I was interested in your reaction after you bit into this apple!
[★4] Richard う うわ やめろっ ムリヤリ食べさせようとするな!
W-Whoa, stop! Don't force it into my mouth!
(つるっ)
(slip)
[★4] Poison Ringo あっ…!
Ah...!
[★4] Richard あっ…!
Ah...!
[★3] Pumpkin パクッ! モゴモゴモゴ……
*Chomp! munch munch munch......*
[★3] Pumpkin ………………
............
[★3] Pumpkin ウゲー! マズイ! マズイ! ペッペッペッペッ!
NGEHHHH! GROSS! NASTY! PHTEWPHTEWPHTOOEY!
[★4] Richard (なんだ 味はともかく 普通のリンゴだったみたいだな)
(Huh. It seems like a perfectly ordinary, normal-tasting apple to me.)
[★4] Richard すまなかった その… いろいろ うたがってしまって
My apologies, it... was hasty of me to treat you so suspiciously.
[★4] Poison Ringo フフフ… お気になさらず また今度 食べてくださいね
Hehehe... Pay it no mind, if you'll just have another one next time we meet.
[★4] Poison Ringo その時は きちんと「どく」の量を 調整してまいりますので…
By then, I'll have adjusted the concentration of "Poison" to precisely the effective amount!
[★4] Richard えっ
Eh-?
[★4] Poison Ringo 次こそ~ リベンジ♪ DOKU!DOKU!リンゴだよ~♪
Next time~ is Revenge time~♪ It's POISON! POISON! Poison Apple time~♪
[★4] Richard …すごく意味深な歌をのこして 去っていったぞ
What a nonsensical song to go out with...

Episode 4 Pre-boss

[★5] Richard ん? ボクのことを 呼びとめたのはキミか?
Hm? Are you the one who called me over here?
[★5] Klug ああ そうさ! キミ 魔法使いだろう?
Yes, that's correct! You're a Warlock, are you not?
[★5] Klug しかも 自分のことを「優秀」だと思っているような 自信家の!
Moreover, you look like someone with enough confidence to consider himself "Excellent!"
[★5] Richard そんなことはない! …まぁ、勉強なら 多少は自信があるけどな
That's not true at all! ...Well, if we're talking about study skills, I'm more or less self-assured in that respect.
[★5] Klug ふふん! そこまで断言するのは ボクたちに勝ってからにしてほしいね
Heheh! If you're proclaiming that much, let's just see if you can beat us.
[★5] Lemres ちょっと クルーク ボク「たち」って もしかして…
Hold on there, Klug. When you say "us", do you mean...
[★5] Lemres ボクも そのメンバーに 入っているのかな?
That I'm also part of that "us"?
[★5] Klug もちろんです レムレス! 天才と呼ばれる あなたと
Of course I do, Lemres! With you, the person everyone calls a prodigy...
[★5] Klug プリンプ魔導学校の優秀な 生徒であるこのボクが……
And me, the revered Top Student of Primp Magic Academy......
[★5] Klug 「優秀な魔法使い」の座を 争うにふさわしいのです!
It's only natural that we'd both compete for the title of "Excellent Warlock"!
[★5] Richard (自分の方こそ なかなかの 自信家じゃないか…)
(This guy seems pretty confident in his own excellence, doesn't he...)
[★5] Lemres そ そうなのかな?
A-Are you so sure about that?
[★5] Richard …そこまで言われて ボクも だまってる訳にはいかないぞ
...Well, now that you've said all this, I can't very well just stand here silently either.
[★5] Klug よし! では レムレスの永遠の ライバルの座をかけて 勝負だ!
Alright! Then we'll face off for the role of Lemres's Eternal Rival!
[★5] Lemres あれれ!? そんな話 してたっけ?
Wh-Whaa!? We're going down that route again?

Episode 4 After Boss

[★5] Richard よし なんとか勝てたぞ
All right, somehow I managed to win.
[★5] Klug なんてことだ… 「優秀な魔法使い」 かつ
What is this... he beat me in the "Excellent Warlock" competition...
[★5] Klug 「レムレスの永遠のライバル」は ボクのはずなのに…!
But "Lemres's Eternal Rival" is supposed to be my thing...!
[★5] Richard ん? ライバルとは なんの話だ?
Hm? What do you mean, rival?
[★5] Lemres ええっと…… クルーク ちょっといいかな?
Umm...... Klug, can we talk for a minute?
[★5] Klug レムレス… なぐさめの言葉なら 今はいりません!
Lemres... if you're just going to comfort me with words, I don't need it now!
[★5] Lemres そ そうじゃないんだ! そもそも ボクたちって…
N-No, that's not it! It's just, first of all...
[★5] Lemres 「魔法使い」じゃなくって 「魔導師」じゃないかな?
Wouldn't we consider ourselves "Sorcerors" rather than "Warlocks"?
[★5] Klug !!
!!
[★5] Klug うひゃひゃひゃひゃー! しかたない!
Ahahahaha! I guess that's it, then!
[★5] Klug 「優秀な魔法使い」の座は キミにゆずってやるよ!
You can have your "Excellent Warlock" title!
[★5] Richard あ… ごまかした
Ah... he's just brushing off the bigger issue.

Episode 5 Pre-boss

[★6] Lagnus やあ よく来てくれたね! わたしは 「勇者」ラグナス!
Hey, you made it here after all! I'm the "Hero" Lagnus!
[★6] Lagnus キミが 「優秀な魔法使い」の リチャードだろう?
You're the "Excellent Warlock" Richard, am I right?
[★5] Richard そのつもりだが… そこまで 自分で言い切る自信は…
I suppose so, but I don't think I would seriously consider myself one...
[★6] Lagnus いいんだ! 大切なのは気持ちだから!
That's just fine! Because what's important here is Feeling!
[★5] Richard ……気持ち?
...Feeling?
[★6] Lagnus そう! 「魔王を倒すぞ」という 運命に負けない気持ちだ!
Right! For example, feeling that you're fated to 'Defeat a Demon Lord'!
[★5] Richard 魔王? 運命? なんのことだ?
Demon Lord? Fated? What is all this?
[★6] Lagnus では 先ほど結成したばかりの わたしのパーティーを紹介しよう!
And now, I'll introduce you to the Party I brought together for that exact purpose!
[★6] Lagnus 「格闘家」のルルーと 「僧侶」のエルマだ!
Meet the "Martial Artist" Rulue and the "Shaman" Elma!
[★5] Rulue ねぇ ちょっと いつになったら サタン様に会えるんですの?
Hey, hold on a second. How much longer is it until I get to meet my darling Satan?
[★6] Elma 早く 財宝の山とやらを 見せてほしいですわ♪
Y'know, I'd love it if you would hurry up and show me that Treasure Mountain or whatever♪.
[★6] Lagnus ……というわけで 勝負だ リチャード!
......And thus I challenge you, Richard!
[★5] Richard なにが どう 「というわけ」なんだ?
What the heck do you mean "and thus"?

Epilogue

[★6] Lagnus やはりきみは 最高に優秀な 魔法使いのようだ!
As I thought, you're an amazingly excellent warlock!
[★5] Richard それはどうも…
Well, thanks...
[★6] Lagnus よし!これで いよいよ 魔王を倒す旅に 出発できるぞ!
All right! At long last, we can set off on our journey to defeat the Demon Lord!
[★5] Rulue お待ちなさい!
Hold it right there!
[★5] Rulue 私は魔王… つまりサタン様に会えると 聞いてたのよ?
This Demon Lord... you wouldn't by chance be sending me to beat up my darling Satan?
[★5] Rulue 倒すだなんて ありえませんわ!
Defeating him is simply out of the question!
[★6] Elma 長旅になりそうですけど 相応の報酬は 用意できているんでしょう?
Seems like it'll be a long trip, but do you have any proper payment set aside for me?
[★6] Elma タダ働きなんて 絶対にゴメンですわ!
If you think I'm working for free, I sure am sorry to disappoint you!
[★5] Richard (なんだ 仲間われか?)
(What kind of companions are these?)
[★6] Lagnus おちついてくれ キミたち!
Please calm down, you two!
[★6] Lagnus むかしから 勇者は魔王を 倒すものと決まっているし…
For countless ages, Heroes have been committing themselves to defeating Demon Lords...
[★6] Lagnus 旅で得る ”経験値” は 何ものにも代えがたい 財産だ!
And with the "Experience Points" they earn on their journeys, they can gain all sorts of untold assets!
[★6] Elma 残念ですけど おカネ以外には 興味がありませんの
Sorry, but if it doesn't involve money, then I'm not interested.
[★5] Rulue こんなパーティー さっさと 抜けさせてもらうわよ!
I'm removing myself from this party immediately!
[★6] Lagnus ああっ! 2人とも! 待ってくれ~!
Aah! You guys! Please waaaait!
[★5] Richard ……ラグナス なぐさめになるか 分からないが
......Lagnus. I'm not sure how to console you, but...
[★5] Richard 今回の一件で 勉強だけでは 得られない 楽しい経験ができた
Today, you gave me a wonderfully fun experience that I could never have by just studying all day long.
[★5] Richard ボクはキミに 感謝しているぞ
I sincerely thank you for that.
[★6] Lagnus リチャード……!
Richard...!
[★6] Lagnus では これから共に 魔王を倒す旅へと……
Well then, we should start preparing now for our journey to defeat the...
[★5] Richard いや それは遠慮させてもらうよ
Sorry, but I'll pass on that.
[★6] Lagnus がっくり……
Ouch......