PPQ:Manzai Demo Theater/Wanted!? The Excellent Warlock

Prologue

	(う～む…　いかんな…) (Mmm... This is no good...)
	(ついつい　本ばかり読んでしまって　最近　外出まろくにしていなかった) (I've spent so much time wrapped up in my reading lately that I haven't been outside at all.)
	(いくら知識が増えたとしても　これでは　健康によくない) (No matter how many new things I may be learning, this just isn't healthy.)
	(たまには　このあたりを　探索してみるか) (I should try taking a walk around the neighborhood every now and then.)
	(本を読むだけでは　得られないような) (I'll never get anywhere in life just by reading books.)
	(なにか　おもしろい体験が　できるかもしれんしな) (There might be something interesting waiting out there...)

Episode 1 Pre-boss

	(なんだ？　気のせいか　好奇の目で見られているような) (Huh? Maybe it's just me, but it feels like someone's staring very intently at me.)
	あのー…… 'Scuse me~......
	キミって　マジシャンの人だよね？　そうだと嬉しいな★ You're one of those Magicians, aren't you? It'd be pretty nice if so★.
	ちょっとまってくれ　ボクは　マジシャンではなく　魔法使いだぞ Now just wait a minute. I'm not a Magician, I'm a Warlock.
	その帽子のどこかに　ハトがひそんでいるというのは　じつに興味深いものだ I frankly find it interesting that they can hide pigeons somewhere inside those hats of theirs.
	ぜひ　わたくしに　あなたの「えんかい芸」を　おしえていただけないだろうか？ Surely you wouldn't mind sharing some of your Party Tricks with me?
	…えんかい？ ...Tricks?
	えっ　せんぱいって　「えんかい」に行ったりするんだ？ Huh, are you really gonna start dabbling in magic tricks, Senpai?
	「えんかい」…　それは己の存在価値が　ためされるばしょ Tricks... to test such things on a public platform is my entire life's purpose!
	タマシイのオンステージ！　といっても　過言ではないのだよ Bearing my soul onstage! To say that would not be an exaggeration.
	おっと　これは…　せんぱいの本気モード　だね★ Whoops. Looks like... this is Senpai in full Serious Mode. Yep★.
	さあ　それではさっそく　キミの「えんかい芸」を　みせていただこうか！！ Now, demonstrate your Party Tricks for me right here!!
	わ…　わけがわからんが…… I... I'm not sure I follow, but...
	その勝負　受けてたとう！ Consider your challenge accepted!

Episode 1 After Boss

	スバラシイ「えんかい芸」を　みせてもらった You've shown me some marvelous Party Tricks indeed!
	あれは「えんかい芸」ではなく　「魔法」だと何度言ったら… Those weren't "Party Tricks". The term you're looking for is Magic...
	へぇ…　キミって　本当に　魔法使いの人だったんだね★ You don't say... so you really are an honest-to-goodness Warlock, huh.★
	ふむ……　魔法使いといえば　なにか　あったような… Hmm... on the subject of Warlocks, something related has come up...
	あ　それって……★ Ah, you mean......★
	「優秀な魔法使い」をさがしてるって　話のこと…ですよね★ All that talk about looking for an "Excellent Warlock"... yeah.★
	「優秀な魔法使い」？ "Excellent Warlock"?
	うむ　先ほど拾った　チラシによると…… Mm. Well, according to this flyer we happened across...
	求む！優秀な魔法使い　定員1名腕におぼえのある者　歓迎！ [Wanted! Excellent Warlock! We eagerly await one talented person with the confidence to get it done!]
	…とのことだ　くわしくは　この先の神殿に行くといいらしい ...Or some such. In short, it seems the local shrine is the destination.
	キミ　なかなか強いみたいだし　行ってみてはどう　かな★ You seem pretty tough. Maybe you should give it a shot. What do you say?★
	うーむ…　ボクは魔法使いとしては　まだまだ半人前ではあるが… Mmmm... I may be a warlock, but I'm nowhere near the level I ought to be...
	行くだけ行ってみるとしよう　何事も経験だ！ Still, there's no harm in checking it out. Maybe it'll lead to something interesting!
	気をつけて　ね★ Take care out there, 'kay?★

Episode 2 Pre-boss

	どうしたの　こんなとこおろで　お散歩でもしてるの？ Hey there, whatcha doing taking a walk in this kinda place?
	いつも本を読んでいるあなたが　めずらしいですね For a bookworm like yourself, it certainly is strange.
	マシューに　サリヴァン…　キミたちこそ　何をしているんだ？ Matthew and Sullivan... why are you guys here too?
	まさか　「優秀な魔法使い」　に　立候補しようと…？ Could it be you're also trying for the "Excellent Warlock" position...?
	（だとしたら2人は手ごわい　ライバルになりそうだな……） (If that's the case, they'll both be quite formidable rivals...)
	えっ！？　いやぁ　ボクたちは別に…　ねぇ　サリヴァン？ Eh? Naah, we're actually kinda here for... right, Sullivan?
	ふふ…　そうですね Hehe... yes, that's right.
	（あきらかに　なにかをかくしている！） (They're definitely hiding something!)
	なんだ　その気になる反応は？　本当のそとを言いたまえ What's with that nervous reaction? Just tell me the truth.
	ほ　ほんとに　なんでもないってば～！ R-Really, we're telling you it's no big deal~!
	ふふふふ… Hehehehe...
	いいかげんにしろ！ Alright, that does it!

Episode 2 After Boss

	ボクたち…　「セノビ草」　っていう Y'see... we were looking for something called "Tiptop Weed".
	食べると　一日だけ背が伸びる薬草を探してたんだ Cause when you eat some, it supposedly makes you grow super tall in just one day!
	今より　もっと　かくさんに　背を伸ばしたくって…… So, well... I wanna be taller than I am right now, so......
	私は　ちょうどヒマだったので　なんとなく　手伝っていただけです And since I was otherwise unoccupied, I decided I ought to lend a hand.
	なるほどな……　だが　なぜそれを　ボクに隠す必要があるんだ？ I see...... but still, why would you think you needed to hide that from me?
	だって　リチャードってば　ボクが何度も　お願いしてるのに Because, Richard! No matter how many times I ask you...
	「背を伸ばす方法」を　ぜんぜん　教えてくれないじゃないか！ You never wanna tell me how to use that "Growth-spurt Technique", do you!
	いや　だから　”アノ方法”　は　おすすめできないと　何度… No, it's like I've told you every time. I strongly advise against using That...
	ウソだ！！　本当は知っているのに　ひとりじめする気なんでしょ！！ Liar!! More like you just wanna keep it all to yourself!!
	そういうワケじゃない　”アノ方法”　は　サリヴァンだって知っている No, it's not like that. Sullivan knows all too well about That technique, too.
	えっ　本当なの　サリヴァン！？　それなら　早く教えてよ！ Wait, really, Sullivan!? If you know about it, hurry up and tell me!
	ふふふ…　別にいいけど　マシュー Mhmhm... It's really nothing special, Matthew.
	三日三晩の間　体中が　毛むくじゃらになっても　大丈夫ですか？ Just something that causes rapid hair growth all over the body for 3 days and 3 nights. Are you okay with that?
	だ…　だ… Th... Th...
	大丈夫じゃない！！！ That is NOT OKAY AT ALL!!
	……だろ？ ... You see?

Episode 3 Pre-boss

	そこのあなた　そろそろ　お腹がすいてきたでしょう… You there. You must be getting at least a little hungry by now...
	リンゴ　おひとつ　いかがですか？ Why not have one of these fine apples?
	ケタケタケタ！　アヤシイ！　アヤシイ！ KEHKEHKEHKEH! THAT'S SHADY! SUPER SHADY!
	（ん？　なぜ見ず知らずの少女が　ボクにリンゴの差し入れを…？） (Hm? What's this strange girl trying to accomplish by giving me apples...?)
	はっ…　分かったぞ Ah... I see what's going on.
	この少女…　見た目こそ怪しいが　れっきとした魔法使いのようだ This girl... her stare may be suspicious, but she's clearly an accomplished warlock in her own right.
	ボクを　油断させておいて　先に神殿へと向かうつもりだな… I bet she's planning to distract me in order to throw me off the Shrine's path...
	ケタケタケタ！　ココロノコエ！　ゼンブキコエテル！ KEHKEHKEH! YOUR INNER VOICE! WE CAN HEAR ALL OF IT!
	そんな　こそくな手には　乗らんぞ！ Your underhanded tactics won't work on me!
	フフフフフ…　さあ　どうでしょうか… Hehehehehe... Well then, what will you do about it...?
	キミとボクのどちらが　優れた魔法使いか… You and I are both warlocks of exceptional skill...
	ここで決めようじゃないか！ So we'll just settle everything right here!
	ケケケケケケケケ！　イイゾ！　モットヤレ！ KEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! YEAH! FIGHT IT OUT!

Episode 3 After Boss

	ご安心ください…　わたしが　興味があるのは　あなただけ… Please don't fret... I assure you, you are the only person I'm interested in.
	ど　どういう意味だ？ W-What do you mean by that?
	…もとい　このリンゴを食べた　あなたの反応に興味があります！ ...That is, I was interested in your reaction after you bit into this apple!
	う　うわ　やめろっ　ムリヤリ食べさせようとするな！ W-Whoa, stop! Don't force it into my mouth!
	（つるっ） (slip)
	あっ…！ Ah...!
	あっ…！ Ah...!
	パクッ！　モゴモゴモゴ…… *Chomp! munch munch munch......*
	……………… ............
	ウゲー！　マズイ！　マズイ！　ペッペッペッペッ！ NGEHHHH! GROSS! NASTY! PHTEWPHTEWPHTOOEY!
	（なんだ　味はともかく　普通のリンゴだったみたいだな） (Huh. It seems like a perfectly ordinary, normal-tasting apple to me.)
	すまなかった　その…　いろいろ　うたがってしまって My apologies, it... was hasty of me to treat you so suspiciously.
	フフフ…　お気になさらず　また今度　食べてくださいね Hehehe... Pay it no mind, if you'll just have another one next time we meet.
	その時は　きちんと「どく」の量を　調整してまいりますので… By then, I'll have adjusted the concentration of "Poison" to precisely the effective amount!
	えっ Eh-?
	次こそ～　リベンジ♪　ＤＯＫＵ！ＤＯＫＵ！リンゴだよ～♪ Next time~ is Revenge time~♪ It's POISON! POISON! Poison Apple time~♪
	…すごく意味深な歌をのこして　去っていったぞ What a nonsensical song to go out with...

Episode 4 Pre-boss

	ん？　ボクのことを　呼びとめたのはキミか？ Hm? Are you the one who called me over here?
	ああ　そうさ！　キミ　魔法使いだろう？ Yes, that's correct! You're a Warlock, are you not?
	しかも　自分のことを「優秀」だと思っているような　自信家の！ Moreover, you look like someone with enough confidence to consider himself "Excellent!"
	そんなことはない！　…まぁ、勉強なら　多少は自信があるけどな That's not true at all! ...Well, if we're talking about study skills, I'm more or less self-assured in that respect.
	ふふん！　そこまで断言するのは　ボクたちに勝ってからにしてほしいね Heheh! If you're proclaiming that much, let's just see if you can beat us.
	ちょっと　クルーク　ボク「たち」って　もしかして… Hold on there, Klug. When you say "us", do you mean...
	ボクも　そのメンバーに　入っているのかな？ That I'm also part of that "us"?
	もちろんです　レムレス！　天才と呼ばれる　あなたと Of course I do, Lemres! With you, the person everyone calls a prodigy...
	プリンプ魔導学校の優秀な　生徒であるこのボクが…… And me, the revered Top Student of Primp Magic Academy......
	「優秀な魔法使い」の座を　争うにふさわしいのです！ It's only natural that we'd both compete for the title of "Excellent Warlock"!
	（自分の方こそ　なかなかの　自信家じゃないか…） (This guy seems pretty confident in his own excellence, doesn't he...)
	そ　そうなのかな？ A-Are you so sure about that?
	…そこまで言われて　ボクも　だまってる訳にはいかないぞ ...Well, now that you've said all this, I can't very well just stand here silently either.
	よし！　では　レムレスの永遠の　ライバルの座をかけて　勝負だ！ Alright! Then we'll face off for the role of Lemres's Eternal Rival!
	あれれ！？　そんな話　してたっけ？ Wh-Whaa!? We're going down that route again?

Episode 4 After Boss

	よし　なんとか勝てたぞ All right, somehow I managed to win.
	なんてことだ…　「優秀な魔法使い」　かつ What is this... he beat me in the "Excellent Warlock" competition...
	「レムレスの永遠のライバル」は　ボクのはずなのに…！ But "Lemres's Eternal Rival" is supposed to be my thing...!
	ん？　ライバルとは　なんの話だ？ Hm? What do you mean, rival?
	ええっと……　クルーク　ちょっといいかな？ Umm...... Klug, can we talk for a minute?
	レムレス…　なぐさめの言葉なら　今はいりません！ Lemres... if you're just going to comfort me with words, I don't need it now!
	そ　そうじゃないんだ！　そもそも　ボクたちって… N-No, that's not it! It's just, first of all...
	「魔法使い」じゃなくって　「魔導師」じゃないかな？ Wouldn't we consider ourselves "Sorcerors" rather than "Warlocks"?
	！！ !!
	うひゃひゃひゃひゃー！　しかたない！ Ahahahaha! I guess that's it, then!
	「優秀な魔法使い」の座は　キミにゆずってやるよ！ You can have your "Excellent Warlock" title!
	あ…　ごまかした Ah... he's just brushing off the bigger issue.

Episode 5 Pre-boss

	やあ　よく来てくれたね！　わたしは　「勇者」ラグナス！ Hey, you made it here after all! I'm the "Hero" Lagnus!
	キミが　「優秀な魔法使い」の　リチャードだろう？ You're the "Excellent Warlock" Richard, am I right?
	そのつもりだが…　そこまで　自分で言い切る自信は… I suppose so, but I don't think I would seriously consider myself one...
	いいんだ！　大切なのは気持ちだから！ That's just fine! Because what's important here is Feeling!
	……気持ち？ ...Feeling?
	そう！　「魔王を倒すぞ」という　運命に負けない気持ちだ！ Right! For example, feeling that you're fated to 'Defeat a Demon Lord'!
	魔王？　運命？　なんのことだ？ Demon Lord? Fated? What is all this?
	では　先ほど結成したばかりの　わたしのパーティーを紹介しよう！ And now, I'll introduce you to the Party I brought together for that exact purpose!
	「格闘家」のルルーと　「僧侶」のエルマだ！ Meet the "Martial Artist" Rulue and the "Shaman" Elma!
	ねぇ　ちょっと　いつになったら　サタン様に会えるんですの？ Hey, hold on a second. How much longer is it until I get to meet my darling Satan?
	早く　財宝の山とやらを　見せてほしいですわ♪ Y'know, I'd love it if you would hurry up and show me that Treasure Mountain or whatever♪.
	……というわけで　勝負だ　リチャード！ ......And thus I challenge you, Richard!
	なにが　どう　「というわけ」なんだ？ What the heck do you mean "and thus"?

Epilogue

	やはりきみは　最高に優秀な　魔法使いのようだ！ As I thought, you're an amazingly excellent warlock!
	それはどうも… Well, thanks...
	よし！これで　いよいよ　魔王を倒す旅に　出発できるぞ！ All right! At long last, we can set off on our journey to defeat the Demon Lord!
	お待ちなさい！ Hold it right there!
	私は魔王…　つまりサタン様に会えると　聞いてたのよ？ This Demon Lord... you wouldn't by chance be sending me to beat up my darling Satan?
	倒すだなんて　ありえませんわ！ Defeating him is simply out of the question!
	長旅になりそうですけど　相応の報酬は　用意できているんでしょう？ Seems like it'll be a long trip, but do you have any proper payment set aside for me?
	タダ働きなんて　絶対にゴメンですわ！ If you think I'm working for free, I sure am sorry to disappoint you!
	（なんだ　仲間われか？） (What kind of companions are these?)
	おちついてくれ　キミたち！ Please calm down, you two!
	むかしから　勇者は魔王を　倒すものと決まっているし… For countless ages, Heroes have been committing themselves to defeating Demon Lords...
	旅で得る　”経験値”　は　何ものにも代えがたい　財産だ！ And with the "Experience Points" they earn on their journeys, they can gain all sorts of untold assets!
	残念ですけど　おカネ以外には　興味がありませんの Sorry, but if it doesn't involve money, then I'm not interested.
	こんなパーティー　さっさと　抜けさせてもらうわよ！ I'm removing myself from this party immediately!
	ああっ！　２人とも！　待ってくれ～！ Aah! You guys! Please waaaait!
	……ラグナス　なぐさめになるか　分からないが ......Lagnus. I'm not sure how to console you, but...
	今回の一件で　勉強だけでは　得られない　楽しい経験ができた Today, you gave me a wonderfully fun experience that I could never have by just studying all day long.
	ボクはキミに　感謝しているぞ I sincerely thank you for that.
	リチャード……！ Richard...!
	では　これから共に　魔王を倒す旅へと…… Well then, we should start preparing now for our journey to defeat the...
	いや　それは遠慮させてもらうよ Sorry, but I'll pass on that.
	がっくり…… Ouch......