PPQ:Manzai Demo Theater/Albert's Day Off

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Prologue

[★4] Albert ふ~… 今日はいい天気だな オレの弟と妹もつれてきてやれば よかった
Hah~... The weather sure is pleasant today. I wish I could've taken Little Bro and Sis out here too.
[★4] Albert だがオレは今日 魔法使いの修行をするために ここに来たワケで…
But I came here today so I can put all my focus into my warlock training...
[★4] Albert 近くで遊ばせるのは 少々キケンだからなぁ
And leaving them alone nearby would make that kiinda dangerous.
[★4] Albert こんな時 弟と妹の遊び相手に なれそうなヤツがいてくれるといいんだが…
Still, it'd be nice if I could find someone to play with them at a time like this...
[★4] Albert よし 今日は修行がてら このあたりを探索してみるか!
Okay then, while I'm training today, I'll just see if I can find one!
[★4] Albert あわよくば 弟たちの遊び相手が 見つかるかもしれない!
If luck's on my side, my little siblings might just have themselves a new playmate!

Episode 1 Pre-boss

[★4] Albert おや ちょうど小さな子たちが 楽しそうに遊んでいるじゃないか! ちょっと話を聞いてみるか
Ah, these little guys look like they're having a fun playtime! Hey, can you hear me out for a sec?
[★3] Red Paprisu なにー? すごくあかい人がパプリスたちのこと じーっと見てるー!
Huuuh? This extremely red guy is staring at us reeeeal hard!
[★4] Albert あっ すまない オレは決して怪しい者ではなくて…
Ah, sorry. I promise you I'm not up to anything shady...
[★3] Red Paprisu あ~ もしかして あかいパプリスにあこがれて あかいろを着てるんでしょー!?
Ah~ Could it be he's after us Red Paprisus so he can make even more red stuff to wear-!?
[★3] Green Paprisu あっ! かみのけは みどりパプリスにあこがれて みどりいろにしたんだねー!?
Ahh! Could he want us Green Paprisus for more of that green hair dye-!?
[★4] Albert え?いや 特にそういうわけでは…
Huh? No, there's no way I'd do something like...
[★3] Blue Paprisu ねぇねぇ!あおいろは着ないのー? あおいろも あこがれるよね?
Hey, hey! You're not wearing anything blue though-? You want some blue stuff too, don'tcha?
[★4] Albert オレは…着られれば 色なんてなんでもいい派だ
I... I don't really care about what color my clothes are...
[★3] Red Paprisu かくしたってダメー! おしゃれドロボウ はんたーい!
You can't conceal the truth-! We resist you, Fashion-napper!
[★3] Green Paprisu はんたーい! はんたーい!
Resiiist! Resiiist!
[★3] Blue Paprisu あおいろなら 着てもいいよー!
You should wear a little blue once in a while-!
[★4] Albert だからそうじゃなくて! キミたちに聞きたいことが…
I told you it's not like that! I just have something I wanna ask you...
[★3] Red Paprisu あかいパプリスが どこで服をかってるか そんなに気になるー?
Where'd you get those Red Paprisu-dyed threads, huh? Are you that greedy-?
[★4] Albert ……小さい子の相手って こんなに大変だったかなぁ
......Who knew it'd be this hard to find someone I can trust around small children...

Episode 1 After Boss

[★3] Red Paprisu つまりー あかい人は きょうだいの 遊びあいてをさがしてるのー?
So basically... Mr. Red is looking for someone to be his little siblings' playmate?
[★4] Albert ああ そうだ
Yes. That's exactly it.
[★4] Albert やっと本題までたどりつけた…
Finally, we've got that mess out of the way...
[★4] Albert ……それで どうかな 弟たちといっしょに 遊んでくれるかい?
......So, how about it? Will you play with my little siblings?
[★3] Green Paprisu んー それはダメー!
Mmm... thaaat'd be a Nope!
[★4] Albert な なぜだ!?
W-Why not!?
[★3] Red Paprisu だって今 パプリスたちの間では 「しっぽが転んだゲーム」が ブームなんだよ!
Cause right now, the latest gaming craze among us Paprisus is "Red Tail, Green Tail"!¹
[★3] Blue Paprisu あかい人のきょうだいは しっぽ あるのー?
Do Mr. Red's siblings happen to have any tails?
[★4] Albert しっぽは…ないな
They... don't have tails.
[★3] Red Paprisu じゃあ ダメー!
Then it's a Nope from us!
[★4] Albert わ わかったよ…
A-Alright, I got it...
[★4] Albert どうでもいいが 「しっぽが転んだゲーム」とは 一体なんだろう…
I'm fine with that. What the heck is "Red Tail, Green Tail", anyway...?

Episode 2 Pre-boss

[★4] Albert おっ こんな所にニワトリが
Oh. A chicken out in a place like this.
[★5] Cockatrice コケクケ!ホーホケキョ!(ニワトリじゃないわ!コカトリスよ!)
Bck bcack! Ca-cawww! (Hey, I'm no chicken! I'm a Cockatrice!)
[★4] Albert そして こっちには牛がいるぞ
And now there's a cow heading this way too.
[★3] Yellow Umiushi 牛とまちがえられた なんか笑える
That would be a misnomer, actually. A rather amusing one, at that.
[★4] Albert そうだ お前たち よければ 「タモゴ」 と 「牛乳」 を 分けてくれないか?
Maybe so, but at the end of the day, you give us Eggs and Milk all the same, don't you?
[★5] Cockatrice クコココクケーッ!(そんなもん持ってないわよーっ!)
Caw-caw Bcaaaaw-! (I give you nothing of the sort--!)
[★3] Yellow Umiushi まだ牛とまちがえられていることに笑える
It's funny that you're still confusing me with an ordinary cow.
[★4] Albert 「タモゴ」 と 「牛乳」 が手に入れば 弟と妹におりしいケーキそ 作ってやれるぞ!
If I can get my hands on some Eggs and Milk, I could make Little Bro and Sis a super-delicious cake!
[★5] Cockatrice ケコタッココケケケー!(ちょっとは話そ聞きなさいよー!)
Caw bCaw bCa-Ca-Caaaw! (Listen when you're being spoken to!)
[★3] Yellow Umiushi 話そスルーされすぎて 逆に笑えてきた
Our words are going right through his ears. So much so that it's kind of hilarious.

Episode 2 After Boss

[★4] Albert さあ 改めて頼む!おいしい「タマゴ」と「牛乳」をすこし分けてくれないか?
Now, I'll ask you one more time! Won't you please give me just a little of your tasty Eggs and Milk?
[★5] Cockatrice クケケケー!! (だからニワトリじゃないっつーの!!)
bCa-ca-caaw!! (I thought I told ya I'm not a chicken!!)
[★3] Yellow Umiushi 会話が一方通行どころか 渋滞してて笑える
This conversation is going down an amusingly one-sided track.
[★4] Albert ん? まさか…… オレは大きな勘違いをしていたのか?
Mm? Could it be... that I misunderstood something major here?
[★5] Cockatrice ホホッ ホケキョ~…(やっと気づいたのね~…)
Ho-hoo, bck-bCaw~... (At Long Last he gets it, huh~...)
[★4] Albert さてはお前たち… 実は「オス」なんだろう!?
So that must mean you... you're actually Guys, aren't you!??
[★5] Cockatrice クコココッ コォ~…(そういうことじゃなくって~…)
bCa-ca-ca caaaww~... (Again, that's not even Close to the problem...)
[★4] Albert それなら仕方ない おいしいケーキはあきらめて…
If that's the case, then it can't be helped. I guess I should give up on that delicious cake...
[★4] Albert からあげとステーキに変更だ!
I'll just settle for steak and fried chicken instead!
[★5] Cockatrice クケケココッ! ククコー!!(ふざけんじゃないわ!イヤー!!)
bCa-Ca-Caw! c-c-Caaaw-!! (Don't even joke about that! Nooo-!!)
[★3] Yellow Umiushi 牛じゃないのに 食べられそうで笑える ついでに逃げる
Though I'm not a cow, I'll laugh at the thought of you trying to eat me. And now I'll run away.
[★4] Albert おーい 冗談だぞー …すこしからかいすぎたか
Heeey, it was just a joke-! ...Maybe I went a bit overboard with the teasing.

Episode 3 Pre-boss

[★5] Succubus アナタ どうかしたの? 大丈夫?
You there, are you all right? Got something on your mind?
[★4] Albert あ いや オレは平気だ
Ah, no, I'm doing just fine.
[★4] Albert ずいぷんと面倒見のよさそうな ヤツだなぁ
(She seems like someone who'd be good at taking care of other people.)
[★5] Succubus それならよかった ウフフ…
Well, I'm happy to hear that. Mmhmhm...
[★4] Albert 率直に聞かせてもらうが アンタは子供は好きか?
I know this is a bit forward of me to ask, but... do you like children?
[★5] Succubus ええ、もちろん♪
Oh yes, of course I do♪.
[★4] Albert 本当か!?
You do!?
[★5] Succubus ええ それはもう 食べちゃいたいくらい…ね♪
Yes. I'd love the chance to just eat one up... you know?♪
[★4] Albert た…食べる!?
Y... you Eat them!?
[★5] Succubus ヤダ~!! 可愛がっちゃう…ってコ・ト・よ♪
Goodness, no!! I meant Smother and Coddle them... and Stuff. Like. That♪.
[★4] Albert ああ なんだ そういうことなら…
I see. Still, when you phrase it like that...
[★5] Succubus でも その前に……
However, before that......
[★5] Succubus アナタのこと ゆ~っくり 味わってみたいワ♪
I want a chance to slooowly savor you for a bit♪.
[★4] Albert ちょ ちょっと待て! 一体どういう意味だーーー!?
W-Wait, hold the phone! What the Heck does that even mean---!?

Episode 3 After Boss

[★5] Succubus もう おしまい…?
Aw, done already...?
[★5] Succubus アタシともっと楽しみましょうよ♪
Stay awhile and have a little more fun with me♪.
[★4] Albert あ…あぶないところだった
Th... that was a place no sane man should ever go.
[★4] Albert うまく説明できないが もう少しでなにか大切なものを 失うところだった気がする…
(I can't explain it very well, but I feel like I came close to losing something very important...)
[★5] Succubus ウフフ… キンチョウしてるのね 大丈夫 すぐに気持ちよくしてア・ゲ・ル♪
Mhmhm... you're a little nervous, huh? It's okay. Soon, I'm gonna help you feel So. So. Good♪!
[★4] Albert …彼女はたぷん 根っからの 悪いヤツではないんだろうけど
(...I don't think she's a truly bad person deep down, but...)
[★4] Albert 弟や妹のじょうそう教育によくない! そんな気がするんだ!
You wouldn't be a wholesome influence on my Sis and Bro at all! That's how I feel!
[★5] Succubus もーそー?きょういく?
Hole-some? Inflew-ants?
[★4] Albert と いうわけで さっきまでの話は忘れてくれーー!
On... On that note. Just forget this conversation ever happened, please---!
[★5] Succubus ? ウフフ… またいらっしゃいね♪
? Mhmhm... till next time, then♪.

Episode 4 Pre-boss

[★5] Jarne じゃじゃじゃじゃ…っじゃーん!
Jyajyajyajya... Jyaaa-n!
[★4] Albert うわぁっ いきなりなんだ!
Whaa, that came outta nowhere!
[★5] Jarne やったー!! おどろいた! ドッキリ大成功でごじゃる!
Yaay-!! I shocked you good! Operation Shocker is a raving success!
[★5] Panotty おどれおどれー! ビョロリリ リロロローー♪
Yeaaah, let's Dance-! *happily aggressive whistleplaying--♪*
[★4] Albert なっ なんだこの笛のメロディは?
Wh-What kind of flute melody is that?
[★4] Albert 頭がクラクラして… ああ 足元がふらつく…
My head is swimming... Aah, I can't walk steady...
[★5] Panotty やったやったー! 僕の笛の音で赤い魔法使いを おどらせてやったぞー!
Yaay, all right! I made the red wizard dance with the sound of my flute!
[★4] Albert ……これは 弟たちといい感じにレべルが近そうな 2人組を見つけたかもしれないぞ
(......This feels close to the childish atmosphere my siblings would be into... Maybe these guys are the pair I've been looking for.)
[★5] Jarne あれー? なんだか失礼なことを言われている 気がするでごじゃるよー
Hmmm? I get the feeling someone's making some rude comments about us right now.
[★5] Panotty なんだとー! そんなやつは一生おどり続けろー!
Say what-! I'll force that jerk to dance the rest of his life away-!
[★5] Panotty ビョロロロッビビーッ♪♪
*Impassioned Whistleplaying-♪♪*
[★4] Albert しかたない すこし相手をしてやるか!
I've got no choice. I'll just have to be their playmate for a bit!

Episode 4 After Boss

[★5] Jarne 負けてしまったでごじゃる… 約束どおり「超絶ドッキリ王」の 称号はゆずるでごじゃるよ~
Dangit, I lost... as legislation demands, I must now hand the victor the title of "Supreme Surprise Sovereign"~.
[★4] Albert いやいや そんな約束はしていないし その意味不明な称号もいらないぞ
No, no, I'm not concerned with those rules. I don't need a bizarre title like that, either.
[★5] Panotty うわ~ん ボクの笛が 今の勝負で壊れちゃった~… ブビョビョオォォォー…
Waaah, I broke my flute in that battle~... *dying whistlesqueak-...*
[★4] Albert なに? その笛 ちょっとオレに貸してみろ (コンコン… シャッ… キュッ)
Huh? Let me see that flute for a minute. (*clanking and squeaking of Woodwind Repair*)
[★4] Albert ほら 吹いてみな
Here, try it now.
[★5] Panotty ピョロロピピピル~~~♪ わーい! 元にもどった!
*Pristine Flute Sound~~♪* Wahoo-! It's like it's brand new again!
[★5] Jarne すご~い! 今のは魔法を使ったでごじゃるか?
So incredible~! Did you use some kind of magic just now?
[★4] Albert いや こういうモノの修理なんかは 元から得意なんだ
Nah, I've just got a lot of experience with basic repairs like this.
[★5] Panotty ねーねー! お礼に笛をたっくさん吹くからサー 聞いていってよ!
Hey, hey! I'll show my thanks by playing you a whole ton of flute songs! Have a listen!
[★5] Jarne さっきのすごくびっくりしたから もう一回見せて~! 師匠と呼ばせてほしいでごじゃる~!
I can show you my Big Shocking Entrance one more time~! Oh, and please let me call you Teacher~!
[★4] Albert …やれやれ 世話のかかるヤツらが 増えてしまったな
...Good grief... More and more troublesome guys seem to pop up every day.

Episode 5 Pre-boss

[★4] Albert あそこにいるのはミリアム? なにかつぶやいているようだが 魔法の練習でもしているのか?
Is that Miriam over there? Looks like he's mumbling to himself. Is he practicing his magic or something?
[★4] Albert おーい ミリア…ム?
Heeey, Miri... um?
[★5] Miriam よ~しよしよし こわくないぞ~
Theeere, there, there... Don't be afraid~
[★5] Chirabbit …………チラッ ……チラッ
............*squeak* ......*squeak*
[★5] Miriam ほらほら おやつをやるからな ははは
See, here. I brought you a little treat. Hahaha...
[★4] Albert ……!!
......!!
[★4] Albert あのいつも無愛想なミリアムが 得体のしれない小動物に 笑いかけている…
(Miriam's usually so cold, but here he is smiling and laughing with strange little animals...)
[★5] Miriam ……!!!! ア アルベルトっ! …いつから見ていたんだい?
......!!!! A-Albert! ...How long have you been watching me?
[★4] Albert ええっと お前がそのヘンなウサギと たわむれているところから かな
Uhh... since around the time you started being cutesy with that weird rabbit, I'd say.
[★5] Miriam …………見られてしまっては 仕方ないね
............It can't be helped, then. You've seen too much.
[★5] Miriam キミには消えてもらう
You're going to have to disappear.
[★4] Albert まてまてまて! おまえ 目がマジだぞ!!
Whoa whoa whoa! Those eyes make it look like you're serious!!
[★5] Chirabbit …………チラッ
............*squeak*

Epilogue

[★4] Albert まあ おちつけよミリアム
Alright, Miriam, just calm down.
[★5] Miriam …ふんっ
...Hmph.
[★5] Chirabbit …………チラッ …………チラッ
............*squeak* ............*squeak*
[★4] Albert おまえが小動物のことを好きなのは オレにとってもありがたいことなんだ
You know, I'm actually kinda glad to know that you're so fond of small animals.
[★5] Miriam それはどういう意味だい?
What is that supposed to mean, exactly?
[★5] Chirabbit ………………チラッ
...............*squeak*
[★4] Albert オレが修行で家をあける時のために 弟と妹の遊び相手をしてくれる ヤツを探していたんだ
See, I've been looking for someone to be a playmate for my little brother and sister while I'm out doing my training.
[★4] Albert たまにでいいから おまえに頼めないか?
Could I ask you to do that, just every now and then?
[★5] Miriam ふん… それくらい別にいいけど
Hm... Sure, I guess I wouldn't mind it.
[★4] Albert 本当か!? 助かるぜ
You mean it!? Thanks, you're a lifesaver.
[★5] Miriam そのかわり ボクの分の食事も用意してくれよ キミ そういうの得意だろ
But in exchange, you'll have to cook me dinner afterward. I mean, since that's your specialty and all.
[★4] Albert ああ もちろんだ いつ来てくれてもかまわないぜ
Yeah, of course. Whenever you come over, consider your meals taken care of.
[★4] Albert はぁ~ それで一件落着だな!
Whew~! Thank goodness that's settled!
[★5] Chirabbit ………………チラッ
...............*squeak*
[★4] Albert って さっきから コイツはなんなんだよ!!
S-so wait, what the heck even is this thing!!

TL Notes

  • 1: In Japanese, the paprisus' game is しっぽが転んだ (shippo ga koronda, lit. "The Tail Fell Down"), an allusion to the real-life Japanese game だるまさんが転んだ (daruma-san ga koronda, lit. "The Daruma Fell Down"). It's essentially the Japanese version of "Red Light, Green Light", hence the name "Red Tail, Green Tail".