PPQ:Manzai Demo Theater/Albert's Day Off

Prologue

	ふ～…　今日はいい天気だな　オレの弟と妹もつれてきてやれば　よかった Hah~... The weather sure is pleasant today. I wish I could've taken Little Bro and Sis out here too.
	だがオレは今日　魔法使いの修行をするために　ここに来たワケで… But I came here today so I can put all my focus into my warlock training...
	近くで遊ばせるのは　少々キケンだからなぁ And leaving them alone nearby would make that kiinda dangerous.
	こんな時　弟と妹の遊び相手に　なれそうなヤツがいてくれるといいんだが… Still, it'd be nice if I could find someone to play with them at a time like this...
	よし　今日は修行がてら　このあたりを探索してみるか！ Okay then, while I'm training today, I'll just see if I can find one!
	あわよくば　弟たちの遊び相手が　見つかるかもしれない！ If luck's on my side, my little siblings might just have themselves a new playmate!

Episode 1 Pre-boss

	おや　ちょうど小さな子たちが　楽しそうに遊んでいるじゃないか！　ちょっと話を聞いてみるか Ah, these little guys look like they're having a fun playtime! Hey, can you hear me out for a sec?
	なにー？　すごくあかい人がパプリスたちのこと　じーっと見てるー！ Huuuh? This extremely red guy is staring at us reeeeal hard!
	あっ　すまない　オレは決して怪しい者ではなくて… Ah, sorry. I promise you I'm not up to anything shady...
	あ～　もしかして　あかいパプリスにあこがれて　あかいろを着てるんでしょー！？ Ah~ Could it be he's after us Red Paprisus so he can make even more red stuff to wear-!?
	あっ！　かみのけは　みどりパプリスにあこがれて　みどりいろにしたんだねー！？ Ahh! Could he want us Green Paprisus for more of that green hair dye-!?
	え？いや　特にそういうわけでは… Huh? No, there's no way I'd do something like...
	ねぇねぇ！あおいろは着ないのー？　あおいろも　あこがれるよね？ Hey, hey! You're not wearing anything blue though-? You want some blue stuff too, don'tcha?
	オレは…着られれば　色なんてなんでもいい派だ I... I don't really care about what color my clothes are...
	かくしたってダメー！　おしゃれドロボウ　はんたーい！ You can't conceal the truth-! We resist you, Fashion-napper!
	はんたーい！　はんたーい！ Resiiist! Resiiist!
	あおいろなら　着てもいいよー！ You should wear a little blue once in a while-!
	だからそうじゃなくて！　キミたちに聞きたいことが… I told you it's not like that! I just have something I wanna ask you...
	あかいパプリスが　どこで服をかってるか　そんなに気になるー？ Where'd you get those Red Paprisu-dyed threads, huh? Are you that greedy-?
	……小さい子の相手って　こんなに大変だったかなぁ ......Who knew it'd be this hard to find someone I can trust around small children...

Episode 1 After Boss

	つまりー　あかい人は　きょうだいの　遊びあいてをさがしてるのー？ So basically... Mr. Red is looking for someone to be his little siblings' playmate?
	ああ　そうだ Yes. That's exactly it.
	やっと本題までたどりつけた… Finally, we've got that mess out of the way...
	……それで　どうかな　弟たちといっしょに　遊んでくれるかい？ ......So, how about it? Will you play with my little siblings?
	んー　それはダメー！ Mmm... thaaat'd be a Nope!
	な　なぜだ！？ W-Why not!?
	だって今　パプリスたちの間では　「しっぽが転んだゲーム」が　ブームなんだよ！ Cause right now, the latest gaming craze among us Paprisus is "Red Tail, Green Tail"!¹
	あかい人のきょうだいは　しっぽ　あるのー？ Do Mr. Red's siblings happen to have any tails?
	しっぽは…ないな They... don't have tails.
	じゃあ　ダメー！ Then it's a Nope from us!
	わ　わかったよ… A-Alright, I got it...
	どうでもいいが　「しっぽが転んだゲーム」とは　一体なんだろう… I'm fine with that. What the heck is "Red Tail, Green Tail", anyway...?

Episode 2 Pre-boss

	おっ　こんな所にニワトリが Oh. A chicken out in a place like this.
	コケクケ！ホーホケキョ！（ニワトリじゃないわ！コカトリスよ！） Bck bcack! Ca-cawww! (Hey, I'm no chicken! I'm a Cockatrice!)
	そして　こっちには牛がいるぞ And now there's a cow heading this way too.
	牛とまちがえられた　なんか笑える That would be a misnomer, actually. A rather amusing one, at that.
	そうだ　お前たち　よければ　「タモゴ」　と　「牛乳」　を　分けてくれないか？ Maybe so, but at the end of the day, you give us Eggs and Milk all the same, don't you?
	クコココクケーッ！（そんなもん持ってないわよーっ！） Caw-caw Bcaaaaw-! (I give you nothing of the sort--!)
	まだ牛とまちがえられていることに笑える It's funny that you're still confusing me with an ordinary cow.
	「タモゴ」　と　「牛乳」　が手に入れば　弟と妹におりしいケーキそ　作ってやれるぞ！ If I can get my hands on some Eggs and Milk, I could make Little Bro and Sis a super-delicious cake!
	ケコタッココケケケー！（ちょっとは話そ聞きなさいよー！） Caw bCaw bCa-Ca-Caaaw! (Listen when you're being spoken to!)
	話そスルーされすぎて　逆に笑えてきた Our words are going right through his ears. So much so that it's kind of hilarious.

Episode 2 After Boss

	さあ　改めて頼む！おいしい「タマゴ」と「牛乳」をすこし分けてくれないか？ Now, I'll ask you one more time! Won't you please give me just a little of your tasty Eggs and Milk?
	クケケケー！！　（だからニワトリじゃないっつーの！！） bCa-ca-caaw!! (I thought I told ya I'm not a chicken!!)
	会話が一方通行どころか　渋滞してて笑える This conversation is going down an amusingly one-sided track.
	ん？　まさか……　オレは大きな勘違いをしていたのか？ Mm? Could it be... that I misunderstood something major here?
	ホホッ　ホケキョ～…（やっと気づいたのね～…） Ho-hoo, bck-bCaw~... (At Long Last he gets it, huh~...)
	さてはお前たち…　実は「オス」なんだろう！？ So that must mean you... you're actually Guys, aren't you!??
	クコココッ　コォ～…（そういうことじゃなくって～…） bCa-ca-ca caaaww~... (Again, that's not even Close to the problem...)
	それなら仕方ない　おいしいケーキはあきらめて… If that's the case, then it can't be helped. I guess I should give up on that delicious cake...
	からあげとステーキに変更だ！ I'll just settle for steak and fried chicken instead!
	クケケココッ！　ククコー！！（ふざけんじゃないわ！イヤー！！） bCa-Ca-Caw! c-c-Caaaw-!! (Don't even joke about that! Nooo-!!)
	牛じゃないのに　食べられそうで笑える　ついでに逃げる Though I'm not a cow, I'll laugh at the thought of you trying to eat me. And now I'll run away.
	おーい　冗談だぞー　…すこしからかいすぎたか Heeey, it was just a joke-! ...Maybe I went a bit overboard with the teasing.

Episode 3 Pre-boss

	アナタ どうかしたの？　大丈夫？ You there, are you all right? Got something on your mind?
	あ　いや　オレは平気だ Ah, no, I'm doing just fine.
	ずいぷんと面倒見のよさそうな　ヤツだなぁ (She seems like someone who'd be good at taking care of other people.)
	それならよかった　ウフフ… Well, I'm happy to hear that. Mmhmhm...
	率直に聞かせてもらうが　アンタは子供は好きか？ I know this is a bit forward of me to ask, but... do you like children?
	ええ、もちろん♪ Oh yes, of course I do♪.
	本当か！？ You do!?
	ええ　それはもう　食べちゃいたいくらい…ね♪ Yes. I'd love the chance to just eat one up... you know?♪
	た…食べる！？ Y... you Eat them!?
	ヤダ～！！　可愛がっちゃう…ってコ・ト・よ♪ Goodness, no!! I meant Smother and Coddle them... and Stuff. Like. That♪.
	ああ　なんだ　そういうことなら… I see. Still, when you phrase it like that...
	でも　その前に…… However, before that......
	アナタのこと　ゆ～っくり　味わってみたいワ♪ I want a chance to slooowly savor you for a bit♪.
	ちょ　ちょっと待て！　一体どういう意味だーーー！？ W-Wait, hold the phone! What the Heck does that even mean---!?

Episode 3 After Boss

	もう　おしまい…？ Aw, done already...?
	アタシともっと楽しみましょうよ♪ Stay awhile and have a little more fun with me♪.
	あ…あぶないところだった Th... that was a place no sane man should ever go.
	うまく説明できないが　もう少しでなにか大切なものを　失うところだった気がする… (I can't explain it very well, but I feel like I came close to losing something very important...)
	ウフフ…　キンチョウしてるのね　大丈夫　すぐに気持ちよくしてア・ゲ・ル♪ Mhmhm... you're a little nervous, huh? It's okay. Soon, I'm gonna help you feel So. So. Good♪!
	…彼女はたぷん　根っからの　悪いヤツではないんだろうけど (...I don't think she's a truly bad person deep down, but...)
	弟や妹のじょうそう教育によくない！　そんな気がするんだ! You wouldn't be a wholesome influence on my Sis and Bro at all! That's how I feel!
	もーそー？きょういく？ Hole-some? Inflew-ants?
	と　いうわけで　さっきまでの話は忘れてくれーー！ On... On that note. Just forget this conversation ever happened, please---!
	？　ウフフ…　またいらっしゃいね♪ ? Mhmhm... till next time, then♪.

Episode 4 Pre-boss

	じゃじゃじゃじゃ…っじゃーん！ Jyajyajyajya... Jyaaa-n!
	うわぁっ　いきなりなんだ！ Whaa, that came outta nowhere!
	やったー！！　おどろいた！　ドッキリ大成功でごじゃる！ Yaay-!! I shocked you good! Operation Shocker is a raving success!
	おどれおどれー！　ビョロリリ　リロロローー♪ Yeaaah, let's Dance-! *happily aggressive whistleplaying--♪*
	なっ　なんだこの笛のメロディは？ Wh-What kind of flute melody is that?
	頭がクラクラして…　ああ　足元がふらつく… My head is swimming... Aah, I can't walk steady...
	やったやったー！　僕の笛の音で赤い魔法使いを　おどらせてやったぞー！ Yaay, all right! I made the red wizard dance with the sound of my flute!
	……これは　弟たちといい感じにレべルが近そうな　2人組を見つけたかもしれないぞ (......This feels close to the childish atmosphere my siblings would be into... Maybe these guys are the pair I've been looking for.)
	あれー？　なんだか失礼なことを言われている　気がするでごじゃるよー Hmmm? I get the feeling someone's making some rude comments about us right now.
	なんだとー！　そんなやつは一生おどり続けろー！ Say what-! I'll force that jerk to dance the rest of his life away-!
	ビョロロロッビビーッ♪♪ *Impassioned Whistleplaying-♪♪*
	しかたない　すこし相手をしてやるか！ I've got no choice. I'll just have to be their playmate for a bit!

Episode 4 After Boss

	負けてしまったでごじゃる…　約束どおり「超絶ドッキリ王」の　称号はゆずるでごじゃるよ～ Dangit, I lost... as legislation demands, I must now hand the victor the title of "Supreme Surprise Sovereign"~.
	いやいや　そんな約束はしていないし　その意味不明な称号もいらないぞ No, no, I'm not concerned with those rules. I don't need a bizarre title like that, either.
	うわ～ん　ボクの笛が　今の勝負で壊れちゃった～…　ブビョビョオォォォー… Waaah, I broke my flute in that battle~... *dying whistlesqueak-...*
	なに？　その笛　ちょっとオレに貸してみろ　（コンコン…　シャッ…　キュッ） Huh? Let me see that flute for a minute. (*clanking and squeaking of Woodwind Repair*)
	ほら　吹いてみな Here, try it now.
	ピョロロピピピル～～～♪　わーい！　元にもどった！ *Pristine Flute Sound~~♪* Wahoo-! It's like it's brand new again!
	すご～い！　今のは魔法を使ったでごじゃるか？ So incredible~! Did you use some kind of magic just now?
	いや　こういうモノの修理なんかは　元から得意なんだ Nah, I've just got a lot of experience with basic repairs like this.
	ねーねー！　お礼に笛をたっくさん吹くからサー　聞いていってよ！ Hey, hey! I'll show my thanks by playing you a whole ton of flute songs! Have a listen!
	さっきのすごくびっくりしたから　もう一回見せて~！　師匠と呼ばせてほしいでごじゃる~！ I can show you my Big Shocking Entrance one more time~! Oh, and please let me call you Teacher~!
	…やれやれ　世話のかかるヤツらが　増えてしまったな ...Good grief... More and more troublesome guys seem to pop up every day.

Episode 5 Pre-boss

	あそこにいるのはミリアム？　なにかつぶやいているようだが　魔法の練習でもしているのか？ Is that Miriam over there? Looks like he's mumbling to himself. Is he practicing his magic or something?
	おーい　ミリア…ム？ Heeey, Miri... um?
	よ～しよしよし　こわくないぞ～ Theeere, there, there... Don't be afraid~
	…………チラッ　……チラッ ............*squeak* ......*squeak*
	ほらほら　おやつをやるからな　ははは See, here. I brought you a little treat. Hahaha...
	……！！ ......!!
	あのいつも無愛想なミリアムが　得体のしれない小動物に　笑いかけている… (Miriam's usually so cold, but here he is smiling and laughing with strange little animals...)
	……！！！！　ア　アルベルトっ！　…いつから見ていたんだい？ ......!!!! A-Albert! ...How long have you been watching me?
	ええっと　お前がそのヘンなウサギと　たわむれているところから　かな Uhh... since around the time you started being cutesy with that weird rabbit, I'd say.
	…………見られてしまっては　仕方ないね ............It can't be helped, then. You've seen too much.
	キミには消えてもらう You're going to have to disappear.
	まてまてまて！　おまえ　目がマジだぞ！！ Whoa whoa whoa! Those eyes make it look like you're serious!!
	…………チラッ ............*squeak*

Epilogue

	まあ　おちつけよミリアム Alright, Miriam, just calm down.
	…ふんっ ...Hmph.
	…………チラッ　…………チラッ ............*squeak* ............*squeak*
	おまえが小動物のことを好きなのは　オレにとってもありがたいことなんだ You know, I'm actually kinda glad to know that you're so fond of small animals.
	それはどういう意味だい？ What is that supposed to mean, exactly?
	………………チラッ ...............*squeak*
	オレが修行で家をあける時のために　弟と妹の遊び相手をしてくれる　ヤツを探していたんだ See, I've been looking for someone to be a playmate for my little brother and sister while I'm out doing my training.
	たまにでいいから　おまえに頼めないか？ Could I ask you to do that, just every now and then?
	ふん…　それくらい別にいいけど Hm... Sure, I guess I wouldn't mind it.
	本当か！？　助かるぜ You mean it!? Thanks, you're a lifesaver.
	そのかわり　ボクの分の食事も用意してくれよ　キミ　そういうの得意だろ But in exchange, you'll have to cook me dinner afterward. I mean, since that's your specialty and all.
	ああ　もちろんだ　いつ来てくれてもかまわないぜ Yeah, of course. Whenever you come over, consider your meals taken care of.
	はぁ～　それで一件落着だな！ Whew~! Thank goodness that's settled!
	………………チラッ ...............*squeak*
	って　さっきから　コイツはなんなんだよ！！ S-so wait, what the heck even is this thing!!

TL Notes

• 1: In Japanese, the paprisus' game is しっぽが転んだ (shippo ga koronda, lit. "The Tail Fell Down"), an allusion to the real-life Japanese game だるまさんが転んだ (daruma-san ga koronda, lit. "The Daruma Fell Down"). It's essentially the Japanese version of "Red Light, Green Light", hence the name "Red Tail, Green Tail".